Can Childhood be Perfect?

How do you like to go up in a swing,
Up in the air so blue?
Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing
Ever a child can do!
Robert Louis Stevenson: A Child’s Garden of Verses

I love this stanza from Stevenson’s poem; it brings memories of pumping so high I felt I was flying. It brings reminiscence of Father running behind me as I learn to ride a two-wheeler; of Mother helping us set up a lemonade stand in the summertime; of my sister Helen and me, acting out stories with our paper dolls.

But childhood is not always idyllic: sometimes it is flawed by unpleasant or painful moments. As parents we look back at our early memories— be they good or bad — and envision what we want for our own children: that perfect childhood.

Is there a secret to fulfilling such a desire?

Most definitely: it is found in the four letter word L-O-V-E.

More than anything else, children need the love and affection of the adults around them. Saying “I love you” is a great start. Using terms of endearment replicates the law of affinity: when you give love, you get love. And there are innumerable actions you can carry out that spell love:

• When your child wants to talk to you, for example, you can give your full attention and really listen — I want to hear about it. Please tell me.
• You can acknowledge what your child says— thank you for telling me about that.
• You can let your child know he is needed by allowing him to contribute — let’s get rags and we can clean up the spill together.
• You can encourage your child to solve problems for herself— what do you think you should do about it?
• If you make a mistake, you can apologize — I’m sorry that I forgot to take you to the library. Please forgive me.
• You can follow the dictate “what you admire is what you get” by admiring positive traits and ignoring negative ones— you have the most beautiful smile; I love it when you smile!
• You can teach your child common-sense values— let’s work out some examples together of how the Golden Rule works.
• You can set a good example — it might hurt Kitty if we are rough so let’s pet him gently like this.
• You can show your child the same respect and importance you want your child to show you— we need to leave soon; is ten minutes enough time for you to finish coloring that picture?
• You can support your child’s personal interests— let’s look on the Internet and see if we can identify what kind of spider it is.
• You can shield your child from non-survival activities and influences — that movie is not appropriate but this one is rated for children.

By demonstrating your love on an everyday basis, you keep your child’s native sweetness, kindness and desire to contribute in tact: the precise qualities that ensure a child’s happiness.

Yes, Mom and Dad, you can create a perfect childhood for your kids.